Quirky Me

1)In the days of young, when I had to move through the house, instead of walking I used to pretend to be riding a bike, complete with the engine noise. I used to make the pretend engine noise using my lips..."brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" with my hands outstreched in front as if holding handlebars. My imaginary bike.

2) When asked "What you doing?", I am capable of saying, "Lying on the sofa and being cute"

3)Washing vessels (the regular way with my hands, not using a dishwasher): Makes me extraordinarily happy and revitalizes me. And I can do this in the middle of the night after a long tired day. It refreshes me. I sometimes get out of control and wash more vessels then required.

4)I arrange all my cosmetics in my wardrobe by height order, but sometimes I let 2 hair products remain together even if one is short and one is tall. Just because they are "friends". I'm nice like that.

5) I make excel sheets for everything. For everything! A friend and I once were planning for a weekend trip out of town. We made an excel sheet.

6)I create stories in my head complete with bollywood style song and dance routine and background melodramatic scores, while travelling, to entertain myself. I am that person smiling to herself in the bus.

7)I get high on food. All cute and giggly. I do.

8)I have to (HAVE TO!) do a 360 degree turn in bed before I find my comfort position and fall asleep. But the 360 degree turn is essential.

9) Most people tend to hit and slap/shake machines when they don't work like they are supposed to or get slow. You will see this specially with CPUs. I talk to them gently and try to motivate them by bringing out their good points. I have my Machine Management skills in place.

10)When I walking with 3-4 people or more, I can never walk in a straight line. I walk across the 4 people in front of them so that I can converse with all of them.Then I cross back in front of them to my side. I had a friend who used to throw pebbles at my legs because of this habit.

Friends & Family, thank you for still loving me.

Bhaage re mann

Beheta hai mann kahin, kahaan jaante nahin -2 koyi rokle yahin
Bhaage re mann kahin, aage re mann chala, jaane kidhar jaanu na -2
Beheta hai mann kahin, kahaan jaante nahin, koyi rokle yahin
Bhaage re mann kahin, aage re mann chala, jaane kidhar jaanu na -2

Aa...haanâ,aaâ, Hoâ, chale thhandi hawaâ, hoâ, sang mann bhi gaya
Dhhundhhu main kahaan usko, batlaaye koyi mujhko
Ke haan haan haan re
Bhaage re mann kahin, aage re mann chala, jaane kidhar jaanu na -2
Beheta hai mann kahin, kahaan jaante nahin, koyi rokle yahin

Haanâ haaye aisa samaâ, hmmâ, phir hoga kahaan
Jee loon main isse khulke, saawan bhi zara khulke
Arre sun sun sun
Bhaage re mann kahin, aage re mann chala, jaane kidhar jaanu na -2
Beheta hai mann kahin, kahaan jaante nahin, koyi rokle yahin
Bhaage re mann kahin, aage re mann chala, jaane kidhar jaanu na -2

-Chameli (2003)

My Office

What I really want to say in the upcoming appraisal:

"Look, would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"

- Arthur to Slartibartfast in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

In the darkness

I sit in the semi darkness with a single birthday candle burning, in a steel bowl on my Mosaic tiled floor. The birthday candles are replacements for misplaced candles and torches so often used in the power cuts that haunt this city.

I switch birthday candles every 10 minutes. As I pass the 3rd birthday, I get tired of the routine and let the unused 17 candles lie the box. As the last candle burns out, I move to sit on the sofa near the window so that I can feel some remnants of the soft cool breeze that followed the humid afternoon and the off-season drizzles this evening.

I sit in the darkness staring out of the window. Most of the windows in the apartment building opposite my window are dark. It's any one's guess whether there is anyone sitting in the darkness on this Wednesday evening. A single window throws the faint glow that could only come from a candle. I see and hear things that one only notices in complete darkness, when there are no distractions - no TV or laptop, no books and its too risky to use the phone for fear of the battery running out before the power comes back on.

Somewhere in darkness outside a hear a baby crying. I hear the mother murmuring something to the baby. I hear faint sound of music coming from a nearby apartment. I imagine a family or a group of friends sitting around a battery operated music player or a laptop listening to music. I hear footsteps in the corridor outside. Voices calling out to each other. I hear dogs barking in the distance. I check the door locks again and go back to my sofa. I see little. Imagine a little too much. :-)

I look at the window a floor up - across from my apartment. I see someone, possibly a guy from the shape of his head and hair standing in the window trying to catch some of the night breeze. I see he's decided to risk the phone battery. And wonder who he's talking to.

I try practicing the flute for a bit. I feel a little less guilty about ignoring it for most part of the year, after I've spent some 30 mins or so practicing. I wonder what my neighbours think of the strange noises emanating from my house in the darkness.

I sit back, leaning against the cushions and stare at the ceiling. Strange patterns form on the ceiling and walls from the headlights of cars passing. I think of people leaving their houses to escape the darkness, driving off to dinner, or possibly just driving off.

I sit back wondering whether I should turn in early and for once get a full night's sleep. But the lights come back on suddenly. I blink for a second or two and go back to my distractions. I don't even notice the windows opposite me.

Random Lines

The Shallow End

funny
witty

intelligent
well read

nice
sweet

gorgeous
taunt
hard

Putting them deeper down the list
Doesn't make the thoughts any shallower
***********************************************
Finding Heaven

The neck disappears
Into the stillness of the collar front

The skin taunt behind the ears
Begging to be touched

The hair, jet black
Waiting to be clutched

The hands reaching out
Creating gaps for my form

The mouth, making guttural murmurings
Me imagining the back of your throat

The body, hidden behind the pulpit
Imploring me to think about God.

And me thinking about Heaven.

***********************************************
Hey, you condescending fool

Hey, you condescending fool
We're showing you the door
Come down your cash ladder
Pick you'self up off the floor

Hey, you condescending fool
Get your head out of the sand
Stop blowing up our land
We don't need no helping hand

Hey, you condescending fool
Get your logic really clear
Count the dead and check the maims
You are the "terrorism" fear

Hey, you condescending fool
Stop calling it i-raaak
You're killin our babies
Stop shooting in the dark

Hey, you condescending fool
You're installing death on the fly
Take your guns and take your tanks
Its time to say good-bye.

You condescending fool
Its time to say good-bye.

Movie Watch.

"The Hunger Has Returned To Mr. Brooks' Brain.
It Never Really Left."

AI for Dummies

My cousin ADT recently flew back from India to the US with AI (Air India).
The following were her list of complaints:

1. The handrests were jammed and could not be moved up. So no use of having an entire set of 3 seats to herself
2. No service what-so-ever
3. A 10 hour wait between flights at JFK
4. No inflight entertainment

Other than that she had a a GRRREEEEEAT flight.

This was my uncle Shank - Keko's reply to her in defence of AI:

"Over the years AI has incurred huge losses bcoz passengers keep stealing the handrests... therefore they have welded these into the seats... passengers have no right to complain jes bcoz they cant lie down bcoz they themselves have brought it upon themselves....

For a small charge AI is contemplating giving planks which can be rested on top of the handrests, And the passengers can lie down on these and enjoy a good nap... in fact these planks can be used even if the next seat is occupied... of course, for the moment AI is restricting the issue of these planks to one out of every three passengers... later on depending on the response, they might give out more...

AI sincerely feels that passengers should socialize amongst themselves... and it is only with this objective that the crew took all the inflight entertainment systems to their respective houses... if you are unsocial and not willing to have a friendly chat for as short a period as 16 hrs with your neighbor, AI is not to blame.

And AI has also observed that when service is provided passengers crib that it is no good... therefore they have withdrawn all service (after all the service providers are also human, they also have feelings, and they also feel bad if service availers keep criticizing...) so dont even start to think about complaining.

AI takes no responsibility for onward bookings done by you with gaps of 10 hrs.... pl pl understand that you cant blame them for this...

AI is happpy that you had a GRRREEEEEAT flight.. and is wondering how you managed that and might just bill you extra

Thank you."

My hiatus

I was on bed rest ( this is included sitting up in bed too) for the past 15 days at my folks home. There is no need to go into why. There is however a pressing need to chronicle how I made valuable use of time:

1. Time spent exercise the muscle on the thumb and forefinger by using exercise tools like the remote control : About 60%


2. Time spent reading: 20% (due to all books being stored away in cardboard boxes at the other end of town and the presence of only 2 books at home and being too scared to suggest telling folks to go on book buying spree)


3. Time spent sleeping: 20% ( am sure was more. but head too woozy to do mathematics). Yes! This is mathematics.


4. Time spent thinking that this was ideal time to think about what I want to do with my life: 15-20 hours (at approx. 1 hour per day)


5. Time spent actually thinking about what I want to do with my life: 0 secs


6. Instances of falling asleep heavily drugged whenever planned to start thinking about life: Every single time


7. Time spent thinking - "Should call office tom. morning and find out if still employed": 5 x 15 (at approx. 5 min every night)


8. Instances of calling office: 5-7 (Not bad I think). I am still employed btw.


9. Checking Mails: Twice in 15 days. Yipdee! Am not a net junkie. Also didn't think too many ppl mail me.


10. Time spent blogging: 0 secs.


11. Time spent thinking of stuff to blog about: 0 secs. (Tsk Tsk)


12. Time spent recounting gross details of my illness to polite ppl who called up (only one time each): 10 - 12 hours.


13. Time spent counting my blessings of having nice family and friends: Loads. Thank you. :-)

Why the pressing need to recount this boring details? Bcoz its my first day back in office after my 15 day hiatus. And all I think of is my sofa and need to snuggle into it.

I Rony, You?

Its funny how the stuff you expect to change, doesn't change at all. Its the same conversation, the same comfort level, the same mad laughter, the same care & concern and same long talks about common interests.
And the stuff you hope will remain unchanged goes through changes you don't want but none the less know(or have been informed) are probaby good ones. Changed conversations, long silences, wierd laughter, a lot of growing up. That especially i don't welcome.
Murphy's law gives a kick on the ass as usual.

The Lazyboy Vortex

Stagnation is a cruel affair. The more you flirt with him(?). The more he pulls you in. Pull your self away from him. But he is so tempting to fall into. So easily. Blame. For its an easy game. No responsibility. Just whining.
But start to walk away from him. Maybe pick up the speed a bit. And suddenly you're jogging and then running. At full speed. Stagnation is following you. No fear. Just a step behind. So easy to let go and just fall back into his outstreched arms. But you don't see it cause its smooth road. And then you hit a road black. And his arms are there. Like a lazyboy. Just waiting for you to sink into it.
Stagnation, its a black hole. Velvety. Soft.
And then you're gettting sucked into the vortex. Of nothingness. Of days strecthing into nights and nights into days. And slip further down into the lazyboy. And wrap up in the comforter. Eat chocolates and gorge on fat free ice cream. And then get sucked into it some more.

So

Run, Lolakutty, Run!